You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize