My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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