There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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