bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
