that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
