Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
