...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
thus making me awesome and them whores
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
