thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
