she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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