Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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