I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
