Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
