I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize