If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
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