Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.