It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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