Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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