im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
