i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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