Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
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