if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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