He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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