I just made out with a guy for $7.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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