After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
