Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
