I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
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Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
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11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize