I want to walk on stilts...naked
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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