Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
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I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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