And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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