I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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