I want to walk on stilts...naked
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
