oh god the rape fog is back!
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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