at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
