'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
