You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
