you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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