My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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