Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize