we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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