i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
