We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
