It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
