i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
