I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
