A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
whose ass print is on the piano?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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