oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize