We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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