He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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