We're like a lot better than the average bears
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
