She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
