watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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