My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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