I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
