it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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