There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
