SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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