Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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