how can u be prego again
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
