I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
