I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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