so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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