fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
We need to get me chipped asap
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
