Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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