do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
