umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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