you traded sex for a burrito?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I am one with the molecules
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
