I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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