Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
