Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
