I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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