Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
